danapop

I’ve had a pretty steady relationship with the wedge sandal. I’m certain my penchant for them has something to do with the fact that they are a petite girl’s best friend. For starters, wedges are so much more comfortable than a stiletto, but they still give added height. I have several pairs that make me inches taller that are so comfortable I can sport them all day. My first pair back in high school was so heavy I remember packing them for a trip and feeling like free weights were tucked inside. They had zero give and were what I suspect to be the equivalent of walking on cement blocks, but I loved those wedges and wore them until the straps were falling apart from the weight of the thick sole.

Nowadays wedges come in just about every color of the rainbow and every style imaginable–from slip-on to T-strap to woven espadrille-style heels. It’s not hard to find a pair to match every occasion, no matter if it’s dressed-down denim shorts for a barbecue or paired with a summer sundress fit for an afternoon wedding. Here are my favorites.

1. Coconuts Vice Wedge, Swell 2. Seychelles Memories of You, Piperlime 3. Seville Canvas and Satin Wedge Espadrilles, J.Crew

4. Steve Madden Tampaa, Piperlime 5. The Metallic Streetside Sandal, Madewell 6. Wowza Metallic Wood Heel Wedges, Topshop

7. Ciao Bella Black Leather Hartmen Rubber Wedge, Bluefly 8. Nude Patent Wedges, Dorothy Perkins 9. Indigo by Clarks Sky Pocomo Wedge Sandal, American Eagle Outfitters

Reese Witherspoon Wearing Wedges image: girlstalkinsmack.com

Me at a restaurant opening with several of my favorite writer and publicist friends.

Fear of missing out (FOMO) is a real thing. And never has it been more apparent in our culture than right now with the boom of social media. In an instant, our lives are as mundane or as fantastic as we spin them to be. Forbes just featured a great piece on it, you can read here.

We can shape a so-so situation into the most glorious time, making other’s wish they were there. We’ll fill our social calendar out of that fear of missing anything. By choice, I’ve been a hermit lately. And for the first time in a while I recently ventured out to an event–and lo and behold if it wasn’t the same people having the same conversations. Nothing against any of those people, nor their likely enlightening conversation, but man, if I didn’t want to just be at home cooking supper with my husband or out to dinner with my best friend giggling until we both keel over from stomach pains.

I had an epiphany at that event that I was really only there because I didn’t want to be the one that wasn’t. As if I’m so important that anyone would actually give a care if I didn’t show up. I’m seriously not that full of myself, but are we now a society shaping our lives not because we want to be somewhere, but because it’s where we think we ought to be? Why? So, we can check in on Foursquare with our peers and someone can say, “It looks like Dana and Stacy are at the opening of the must-be-seen-at latest restaurant opening or art exhibit. Wow, wish I were there?” So you can post pictures of the it’s-so-amazing-oh-my-gosh-you’re-a-dork-if-you-don’t-know-about-it underground supper club that meets every third Tuesday of months ending in “y” in an airstream trailer that moves to undisclosed locations.

Seriously. I’m not jealous. Isn’t there some famous quote about one of the great joys in life is not only being invited, but having the choice to not show up? I’ll probably find that gem of a saying on Pinterest, while crafting the perfect surprise birthday party theme with the most coveted invite list in town.

Sigh.

Trust me, you’re not missing a thing.

I’ve always loved St. Patrick’s Day. I think it’s because I associate it with memories of Spring Break of college days past, as most of the time it coincided with the end of mid-term and me heading somewhere sunny with friends for a blurry week of, “You’ll never believe what just happened.” Because of this, I have a strong relationship with Kelly green, specifically, but pastel shades of seafoam green (the color used for danapop) and mint in my favorite kind of ice cream make me equally happy.

Come Saturday, there will be a sea of green among us. Until then, here are my favorite hues this spring, appearing like a grassy field.

1. Modern Green Four-Light Mini Chandelier, Bellacor 2. Stripped Hemp Dog Bed, Olive & Cocoa 3. Wyatt Kelly Green Colorblock Blouse, Bluefly 4. Multi Strap Vest, Topshop 5. Le Pavillion iPhone Case, Kate Spade 6. Green Flat Clutch, Claire Vivier 7. Pleat Belted Dress, Oasis 8. Supersoft Skinny, Topshop 9. Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies, Betty Crocker 10. Ombres 5 Lumiéres Eyeshadow, Yves Saint Laurent. Showpony Eat Your Greens Tea Towel image: Not On The High Street

Lately, I’ve been in quite a purging mood, trying to rid myself of things that don’t inspire me or leave me feeling weighed down. In doing so, I’ve realized how many things I adore in the process, everyday items I cannot live without. In the spirit of love, here are a handful of things I’m swooning over at the moment.

1. obsessed with the Crawley’s of Downton Abbey 2. a favorite sculpture from my twin sister that sits in my living room 3. Papier Brillant’s stunning sheets of glitter wallpaper all produced from a Roswell, Georgia studio 4. finally found a Bolognese recipe worth making in Donna Hay’s anniversary issue 5. my first article in a national publication 6. excellent read by the über-talented Amy Flurry 7. Bloody Mary’s made easy with Dimitri’s 8. perfectly aged Cougar Gold cheese gifted from my cousin 9.artisan chocolates from Olive & Sinclair 10. these wedges make me excited for warmer weather 11. my hair can’t live without Moroccan Oil. Heart filled with flowers image: Olive & Cocoa

Image: Snooki getting arrested on an episode of MTV’s “Jersey Shore”

My hairdresser once told me a story of him watching television on the couch with his boyfriend and he got annoyed when his man stopped flipping through channels at Oxygen’s “Bad Girls Club.” He responded with something like, “You wouldn’t let these women into our house if they knocked on our door, so why are you letting these women into our house?” Touché.

It’s been said that what you do in the privacy of your own home—when no one is looking and you cannot be found out—that’s the guts of who you are.

I’ve called watching totally dumb television my guilty pleasure. And I have something to confess: I’ve watched marathons of this substance-less crap. Hours of grown women arguing about $50,000 sets of veneers and calling themselves “classy” to valley-girl sounding stylists acting as if they have the cure for non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and talentless hacks profiting from a sham marriage sponsored by Living Social. Bleh.

I’m now comparing this television drivel to fast food. The equivalent notion of being fully aware that you’re eating garbage, yet continuing to gorge, french fry after french fry. No more. I’ve purged my TiVo. I’m not buying into it any more. Not consuming it. I’m not saying it’s going to be replaced with documentaries on bird migration flight patterns on PBS or anything, but I might curl up with a good book (is anyone else STRUGGLING with Walter Isaacson’s Steve Jobs?), my addictive “The Wire” discs from Netflix and call it a day.

Up next in the proverbial tasteless pop-culture detox? My RSS reader loaded with salacious celebrity gossip, which has become beyond dull and uninspiring. Though, it’ll be tough to part with surisburnbook.tumblr.com.

It’s interesting that once you start the cleaning out process how much of it filters into other areas you might want to give an ol’ scrub to.

Can you believe Thanksgiving is tomorrow? I don’t know about you, but I sort of feel like I could just as easily be back in March at St. Patrick’s Day–this year’s been such a blur, though the vibrant-colored Atlanta trees and stocked shelves of canned pumpkin tell me otherwise.

Which means it’s time for the annual turkey tension playlist and as we near the close of 2011, I’m feeling a bit nostalgic, so making the cut is a mix of young and old. #grateful

Miss World by Hole (My teen angst years came a bit later than most—senior year of high school through junior year of college—and can be pinpointed to the “Live Through This” album introduced to me by an ex-boyfriend who used to listen to this song ad nauseum. Though I no longer love him, I do love this song, even in spite of Courtney Love’s coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs persona.)

I’ll Be Your Mirror by Velvet Underground (My brother’s all-time favorite band; for him.)

Parallax by Atlas Sound (Pitchfork loves the Deerhunter frontman’s solo project and I do too).

Winter Winds by Mumford & Sons (It’s always a lovely thing when our hearts and heads match, isn’t it? Here’s to syncing the two.)

Lay me Down by The Frames (I’m thankful this year has allowed me a bit of head space for taking time to just be—to lay down.)

Chasing Pavements by Adele (I feel like when I go home we all sort of revert back to patterns from when we’re children. An example: my twin sister is probably honing her ironing skills as I write this, preparing to press my brother’s work shirts the next time she sees him, like when we were younger. I’m certain money and bribes will be exchanged.)

Taxi Cab by Vampire Weekend (I’ve said it before: always, keep a cab company number in your contacts. You just never know when it’ll come in handy—it’s kind of like learning how to drive a stick-shift, a good thing to have tucked in your skill set of life.)

Bloodbuzz Ohio by the National (I had to put this band from my husband’s hometown on here.)

You Know I’m No Good by Amy Winehouse (For those we love and those we’ve lost.)

Somebody to Shove by Soul Asylum (Hold your fire. Think it through.)

Road to Nowhere by Talking Heads (There are better musicians that drum up memories of my family—specifically Elton John, Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Stevie Wonder—but for some reason Byrne’s voice captures the art of struggling relationships so well.)

Pumped up Kicks by Foster the People (Every turkey playlist has a song I drank the Kool-Aid on—see Katy Perry’s Hot N Cold in 2008 and Florence and the Machine’s Dog Days Are Over in 2010. This year follows the trend.)

The Boys Are Back In Town by Thin Lizzy (There’s nothing quite like catching up with old friends over the holiday.)

Superstar by Sonic Youth (I love this version of the Carpenter’s hit.)

Cherub Rock by Smashing Pumpkins (I didn’t appreciate Smashing Pumpkins in the height of their career, especially the album this song comes from, “Siamese Dream.” This is when everyone in the band could stand to be in the same room as Billy Corgan.)

Cigarettes, Wedding Bands by Band of Horses (Have a rehearsed answer for bad habits you need to break, relationships that need explaining.)

Warwick Avenue by Duffy (You said it, gurl.)

Otis by Kanye West & Jay Z featuring Otis Redding (This one is for our boy, Otis, who will be playing to his heart’s content at doggie daycare while we’re feasting on deep fried turkey.)

Society by Eddie Vedder (“Into the Wild,” the movie (and book) this song is based on brings me to tears. Everyone has someone they are missing and people in their life they have to let go of. Or people in their life that are around that aren’t making the same life decisions we might want for them. Here’s to all the dreamers like Christopher McCandless out there.)

Congratulations by MGMT (Give props when props are due. With sincerity.)

Saturday Sun by Crowded House (If Crowded House can reunite last year to produce this beauty, anything is possible.)

(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay by Sara Bareilles (OK, you really cannot beat the Otis Redding version, but this one is goose-bump inducing with the piano backed by her stellar singing chops.)

Get Me Away from Here, I’m Dying by Belle and Sebastian (It’s always drama, drama, drama.)

We All Go Back To Where We Belong by R.E.M. (The band’s swan song, its last release before the big breakup. Going home or welcoming others into our own home for the holidays is where we belong.)

To Whom Should I Write by Mojave 3 (This song will forever remind me of a past relationship that could’ve potentially changed me, and did for a while in all sincerity. You aren’t always how you’re treated. You can change your fate. You’re whatever you believe yourself to be. I think Thanksgiving reminds us of that. Stepping off soapbox.)

Hallelujah by the Helio Sequence (I knew I wanted to Hallelujah on this year’s list and was leaning toward the Jeff Buckley version of the Leonard Cohen song, but did the bait and switch with this tune. It’s such a goodie.)

Innocent by Stereophonics (I remember living in my parents’ house thinking everything was, in fact, possible. Even though I no longer live in that house, I still think anything is possible. And hope I always continue to believe that.)

The Only Exception by Paramore (There’s an exception to every rule. Bend a little, break a little.)

Within and Without by Washed Out (The title track off Ernest Green’s album … I predict this Georgia boy is about to make it big, big, big.)

Alcoholic by Starsailor (No matter the labels on family members or the ones we give to ourselves, deal with the elephants in the room accordingly. Some are worth brushing under the proverbial rug, others, might require a ‘come to Jesus’ moment.)

Philadelphia Freedom by Elton John (Sing-a-long numero uno … shine the light. PS-I saw Elton John sing this at one of my first concerts with my parents. During the performance they shined the light on the crowd and it was pretty awesome.)

Murder in the City by the Avett Brothers (I melt with the lyrics, “Always remember, there is nothing worth sharing like the love that led us to share our name.” Sigh.)

Santa Cruz (You’re Not That Far) by The Thrills (From the day we were born my twin sister has been my best friend. Our birthday is the Sunday after Thanksgiving. This one is for her, and I’m thrilled she found her Santa Cruz. Happy birthday.)

Let’s Go Crazy by Prince (Sing-a-long numero dos … oh no let’s go!)

See a Little Light by Bob Mould (A lot can happen between holiday seasons: relish it while you’re in the moment.)

All I Need by Radiohead (Haunting. Love this song.)

Perth by Bon Iver (Find your happy place, no matter where that happy place might live. And thank your lucky stars daily that you have one.)

Bad by U2 (Sage advice from Bono, “If I could, you know I would. If I could, I would. Let it go…” Bury the hatchet.)

Admittedly, math has never been my strong suit and certainly balancing a checkbook falls into the, oh shoot, numbers again category. I have a vague memory (that I’ve really tried to block out) of my older brother and sister-in-law (who, in my opinion, both hold the title of finance whiz) helping me with my bills once in college, and it ended up with me sobbing and my brother having to leave the room to pour himself a stiff drink after declaring something along the lines of “not knowing what to say anymore” about the disaster that was a manila envelope of unopened credit card and utility bills.

A similar discussion went down several years later with my sweet brother-in-law trying to help me suss out a new car to purchase within my budget and ending with him just sort of throwing up his hands, leading us to both decide that maybe I’d better hold off a bit on such a big purchase.

Unfortunately, I’ve never been one of those women who has her eyes on a purchase and waits for it to go on sale. Or one of those women excited to open her 100 deal emails flooding her inbox. Seriously, I adore you Groupon, Scoutmob, DailyCandy Deals, but damn, girl, it’s too much. Way. Too. Much.

Because of my own experiences, I obviously know how stressful budgets are and how important getting one’s financial house in order is. That said, I’m now living the stage of my life that I like to call the thank-gawd-I’m- married-and-my-husband-pays-the-bills-as-long-as-he-never-has-to-use-a-Clorox-toilet-wand. But, I’m trying to stretch out a bit more into the gray area of the money realm and not just pull a disappearing act when my husband asks me what outstanding invoices my business has this month. Huh, what? Oh um, let me quickly go check (tires pealing out of the driveway).

Because of this, I wanted to talk to real women about their real budgets, so I reached out to five of the most fashionable and smart gals I know to find out how their households survive on a budget all while looking like a million bucks.

1. Ann, a lively, mid-30’s artist and arts administrator living in Santa Cruz, CA. (Full disclosure, Ann is my twin sister).

Best Budget Saving Tip–CLOTHING SWAP! I do a clothing swap a few times a year with a group of girlfriends. You end up with all sorts of fun pieces to add to your wardrobe. Something always still has tags on it because we all bring the “I bought this because I thought it could work … but … you try it!” You arrive with your swaps and leave with anything ranging from brand new to fun sewing/recreating projects to designer bags and jewelry. It’s best to rotate the host house, consume great wine and nibbles, and try on as a group. Home fashion show!

Last Purchase—A bag full of farmers market goodies.

Favorite Recent Purchase—Lingerie. A sweet dainty Eberjey teddy.

2. Linda, a mid-60′s recent retiree from a global architectural firm living in Denver and exploring life-after-the-corporate-world!

Best Budget Saving Tip–I quickly found that flying mid-week at odd times, saves considerable money. I had always flown for work whenever I could squeeze in the most time at the office and be in the next city for the next meeting.

Last Purchase—As I try to update my casual wardrobe with “pieces” that can dress down my corporate clothes to something more appropriate for this new life of leisure and meeting friends for lunch in town, library lectures, etc. I bought a “camp shirt” from Lucy that is charcoal gray. Earlier in the summer I bought their navy one and it washes easily, does not wrinkle, and fits well, as a long sleeved, short sleeved shirt or jacket and goes with everything, but still looks stylish. Best $58 I have spent all week!

Favorite Recent Purchase—Same as last purchase.

3. Augusta, an emerging artist, newlywed, and graduate student at the Savannah College of Art and Design.

Best Budget Saving Tip–Eat most meals at home, and host dinner parties/potlucks instead of going out with friends. My new husband and I try to cook as much as possible due to our tiny budget, and it is becoming my favorite part of the day. Talking about our days, glass of wine in hand, as we make dinner (often testing out new recipes) is rewarding for the stomach, wallet, and soul in my book.

Every other weekend our group of friends (consisting of four couples) rotates each other’s homes for themed dinner parties. The last one at my house I decorated the table with things I found at my local grocery store: Fresh parsley (which I put in odd vases and old beer jugs I found at Scott’s Antiques), tea lights in mason jars, white pillar candles, and lemons. It’s cheaper, more intimate, healthier, and FUN!

Last Purchase—Highway 12, 2009 Cabernet Sauvignon, Sonoma County. If you haven’t already guessed, I’m a wine-and-dine kind of woman, but on a budget. Truth be told, I make it a mission to find a good red wine for around $10.00, but this Cabernet, which is often on sale, comes with a $20.00 price tag and is absolutely worth it.

Favorite Recent Purchase—Chanel Double Intense Lip Rouge in Ruby Lite.  I’ve made an annual purchase of this long wear red lipstick for several years now, due to the fact that it is the only long wearing red lipstick that looks great on everyone (seriously, it is more of a blue red, so your teeth look whiter and your cheeks rosier INSTANTLY). It only requires one application at the beginning of the evening (trust me, I’ve gone to many of a party where I’ve had my fair share of cocktails and nibbles and looked great in every single picture).

Susan, a scientist, coach’s wife (translation often a single parent), and mother of two young children. (Full disclosure, Susan is my stylish older sister).

Best Budget Saving Tip—I bargain shop for trendy items at places like H&M, Filene’s Basement, even Target. But when it comes to classics, I think of it as an investment and save up for that classic piece (after all, I have a daughter and she’ll inherit all those handbags so they need to last!).

Last Purchase—Leeks … I am making risotto for dinner tonight.

Favorite Recent Purchase—New fall handbag I’m wearing these days. I was in search of a new, every day, fall bag that could multitask (i.e., I could throw the children’s iPad, snacks, juice, even a sweater), but I still needed it to look nice if I had to take it to the office. I also didn’t want to spend too much because of all the aforementioned things I cram into it, there’s potential to get messy.

Tiffany, lifestyle writer/editor who’s reported about everything from underground food trends to the next big designers. Most recently, she relocated from Atlanta to NYC to help launch the New York edition of a new lifestyle site at NBC. (Read all about it at TheFeast.com.)

Best Budget Saving Tip—A few things! First, learn to cook for one. I’m not kidding: At least learn to cook a few great meals for yourself that you love. Shopping for great ingredients bit-by-bit, learning as you go is totally cheaper (and healthier) than dropping $10 or more on lunch downstairs at the office everyday. Also, whenever I get want to change up my workout/health/yoga routine (which isn’t hard to do in a city where people juice like it’s a religion), I try a series of free week-long trials at new gyms to sample a few classes and memberships first before committing to a year anywhere.

Last Purchase—I literally got lost in a new favorite shop, Artists and Fleas, on the way to the Brooklyn flea Williamsburg this weekend. I walked out with a killer $25 vintage dress from The Perfect Perfect and a bracelet made from old bullet casings–a birthday gift for one of my best friends.

Favorite Recent Purchase—Room stuff! I had a weekend of flea markets and art supply stores and bought every cute photo frame that I could find, then printed every half-way decent photo I’d taken since relocating here. Yes, I’ve even hung empty frames first to make sure that I hold myself accountable to finish this project.

So, I was supposed to read this title for book club in October. Last month, I read the book (Bossypants), but couldn’t make the meet up. This month, I can make the discussion, but didn’t so much as read one page, go figure.

But, the book selection (and interesting conversation surrounding it) got me thinking about those moments of respite when it’s hectic, those sweet spots along the way. I’ve had several lately, here are the things giving me particular joy—my own happiness project for the week.

I’m officially stepping outside my comfort zone. That’s right, after countless InStyle magazine articles about classic prints and raves about the closet staple up there with a LBD, I purchased an animal print top. And wore it. Plus, I recently went to a hip-hop festival for three days. I don’t even recognize myself.

We’re approaching the time when it’s Facebook wall overload of cute kids and animals in costume, and quite frankly, I find nothing funnier. I stumbled across this gem image of my nephew’s first Halloween. He’s the hot dog with mustard. I’m certain today my sister couldn’t bribe him with anything to sit still long enough to sausage him into this thing (he looks so angry), but it’s nice to remember when she could. Also, the smile on my niece’s face is so precious; she already looks hopped up on candy like she’s thisclose to losing it.

Surprise! We surprised my mother-in-law for her 70th birthday and my brother-in-law for his 40th. Each of them thought they were surprising the other and well, it was so fun to see the reaction and have a somewhat impromptu (scratch that, when there are approximately 40 emails to coordinate, it’s not spontaneous) trip to Cincinnati. And there’s just something about the Midwest in the fall that I’ll never tire of, especially when driving through the Smoky Mountains.

Image: Courtesy of zgallerie.com

Not to get a Buddha, but I’m feeling very Zen right now with work. After a rough patch over the summer, I do feel like the act of closing one door is opening tremendous new ones. I’m rounding out my year with two writing projects I’m particularly proud of, one of which includes an article to be published March 2012 in a national magazine.

I know it’s a little happiness moment, the teeniest around, but here it is, my counter to all the folks going ape doo-doo about pumpkin spice lattes back at Starbucks; I just discovered hazelnut half and half at Whole Foods and if this doesn’t sum up the season in a mug, I don’t know what does. It gives me a little bounce in my step while walking the dog in the morning since I basically go bonkers for anything involving hazelnut.

Where does your happiness live this week?

Image: Courtesy of NBCUniversal

In the wake of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” cast member Taylor Armstrong’s estranged husband Russell’s suicide last month, I’ve been thinking a lot about reality TV. In particular, the Bravo network’s programming schedule and not just the season premiere of the series that aired on Monday night that included a thrown together opening segment semi-addressing the elephant in the room.

Reality TV had me back when I was a sophomore in high school with “The Real World” as a sociology experiment about what would happen when Julie from Alabama mixed with openly gay housemate Norman and insanely hot (but not so bright) Eric. I’ve always been fascinated with questions in life like this. Who people actually become in situations outside their comfort level in their everyday world. But, we are now at a point where what we watch on television in 2011 seems beyond a voyeuristic notion of watching what people generally do behind closed doors playing out in front of a camera.

What we’re all watching now is just gross. It feels like that cycle in tabloid journalism right after a celebrity couple dates, marries, and speculation about pregnancies are written about ad nauseam to when the tide abruptly turns to the doom and gloom storyline of when it’s ending and shady details of who’s cheating. Not to belittle the scope of what has happened, but yes, reality TV has reached that shift, where it’s all fun and games until someone winds up dead.

In The New York Times a couple of weeks ago, there was an excellent piece you can read here about Reality TV having its Jenny Jones moment. You might remember that reference when, during the height of talk shows overrunning American television sets, Jenny Jones had a guest on her show that confessed his love to an unsuspecting male friend. Three days after the taping, the recipient of cupid’s unrequited arrow shot and killed his suitor.

What is Bravo executive, Andy Cohen’s role in all this? As someone who knows more about the ins and outs of the television industry than my mother in Kansas, but less than say, my friend who was Bill Maher’s assistant for a spell in Los Angeles, I’m not being cynical to think producers prod and formulate and structure things to happen on any and all of these shows. If not, we’d all end up flipping channels the second one watches someone like me brushing my teeth and walking my dog everyday. It’s boring and no one would tune in, although a couple of weeks ago you might’ve witnessed my dog getting his arse kicked by an off leash pit bull in my neighborhood, but that’s about as scandalous a scenario as I would potentially give a viewer. The truth—I’d never get picked up for a second season.

But boy, the “Housewives,” they bring it seemingly without remorse that these are people’s lives. These now recognizable stars are the same people that likely assume that a stint on reality TV will pull them out of whatever suburban oblivion they are wandering around in to being financially set and it will lead to bigger and better. But, ultimately, it’s costing cast members’ marriages, money, and perhaps even a life. Does the onus rest solely on the show?

At this point, the viewer now has been clued in that your marriage isn’t perfect, you’re about to lose your home to foreclosure, you filed Chapter 11, your husband might be going to prison for fraud, and your son has been arrested for shoplifting a $14 razor from Wal-Mart (sorry, I just lumped a bunch of different people from different “Housewives” franchises, but hopefully you get the gist). We know this reality, yet we still watch the façade of a happy marriage, a picture perfect home, a thriving career, and obedient children that are well-adjusted functioning members of society.

Last week I was at an event with several of the Atlanta housewives cast members. I watched NeNe Leakes’ handler cut in front of me in the bar line because he deemed NeNe’s wine more important than mine. I then watched her gab to her entourage through the entire fashion show while fanning herself in the front row. Someone gave her that sense of entitlement. Who? Was it the viewer? The producers in order to coerce good television out of them?

Either way, it’s reached a fever pitch. And while I love Andy Cohen, I think he’s fun and his aftershow hilarious, he needs to address the reality of what we’re watching on his network versus what is actually reality outside the confines of the show that every viewer is well aware of. Until then, I’m over it.

Our lives are constantly flooded with images, opinions and chatter. I wrote those words in 2008 for the About section of dp before the site launched. Here we are, three years later and it’s more abundant than ever. Social networking sites have multiplied and when you work in the realm of media, particularly as a journalist with online outlets contributing to your mortgage, you’re required to add Facebook, Twitter, Google +, blogrolls and RSS feeds into your reading rotation. But, lately, frankly, I’m bored.

Bored to death of this culture of oversharing. It’s one thing to do with a girlfriend over iChat, or your mom on the telephone, but once it’s out there it’s out there. The fact that you’re in mediation about custody of your kids, that you can’t afford a divorce attorney, that your husband is a royal a-hole and likely sleeping on the couch tonight, the fact that you made an egg salad sandwich and it smells like bad gas, that your newborn son will not stop pooping, or the best (and sadly there’s more than one I’ve read) that you’re in the process of labor and delivery … harsh, I know, but I don’t care. And an aside for all you tweeting and facebooking ladies pushing a watermelon through the size of a walnut, seriously, get off the iPhone. It’s time to put it away. Enjoy the moment!

I don’t want to read about it and I don’t want to write about it. We all have it, these things in our life that we don’t want to do like pulling out the next newborn Pampers post-blowout, these mundane additions to our day that unite us. Yet we all have tribulations in our life that aren’t so trivial like the child support check not arriving for the tenth month in a row, or a boss that is demoralizing to your core. There’s so much bad in the world, this oversharing isn’t helping … it is making it worse. I feel heavy and bogged down with the floodgate of too much information being spewed. What are those posting trying to accomplish? The neighbor will bounce over and change your baby’s pants? That your friends will rally and pay your electric bill because they know you’re struggling for money? What’s the reward in airing the dirty laundry?

Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that the Internet’s power can connect me to a friend I never thought (but always hoped) I’d reestablish contact with, or that it can raise funds for a charity in about the time it takes to text a friend or crank out a few sentences. There’s a flip side to everything.

Generally I like to write about things like the great meal I just had (Empire State South’s boiled peanut hummus!) or that we’ve booked a trip to beach (I heart you, Siesta Key), or self-deprecating things like I just tried to sausage into a swimsuit that I ordered online and well, it’s awful (Topshop sizing, I loathe you), or work I’ve written that’s just been published (can I get a fist pump?). This coming from the girl who’s written about a family member’s bout with cancer, her husband’s layoff ad nauseam, and baby making details (err some details) but here’s the thing—I bought the domain, and that gives me the right, I think. But, here’s the other thing, I check with the family I’m writing about before my speed demon typing skills get the better of me.

Freedom of speech isn’t such a tricky thing. We are given the right, and as it’s one of the most guarded amendments, it’s worth being a keeper of that privilege. Side note, if I was a little smarter I should’ve become an intellectual property attorney living in some beach town with clients in LA because holy smokes talk about a business that will never go away as long at the Internet exists … but I digress. Life is hard and tough, but it’s also about choices, and once it’s out there your character can dwindle just a bit with everything you say, everything you type. I know who in my newsfeed is going to whine most of the day about their crappy boss and lazy coworkers, who posts things that inspire me, who gives me interesting content from news sources I don’t check on a daily basis; I know all this without one word being spoken, only the written word.

I’ve tried to wrap my head around what is gained with this oversharing—support? Someone on your side? Us versus you mentality? You are not alone (thanks, Michael Jackson)? But why is Facebook the forum? Why not meditation, or church, or book club, or gabbing with friends over sashimi and red wine, or some other supportive community elsewhere? Why more or less strangers that you might’ve met at some networking event, or a friend you knew fifteen years ago from high school but still haven’t seen in the flesh whenever you come back into town? It’s like high school all over again when you can’t fight your own fight and you need a group of people to reiterate what you’re mad about. At the risk of sounding like a complete hypocrite, maybe stop “talking” about the dirty diaper and just change it.

In the meantime, make what you say matter.

I’ve had a penchant for stripes for as long as I can remember. You can see in exhibits A through C and honestly, I could likely go through the entire alphabet with pieces tucked throughout my closet (I haven’t even shown you scarves, sweaters, tees) if I needed to really draw up a case. It’s embarrassing, and admittedly I need to employ a little fashion editing in this department.

But, from home goods to clothing, the somewhat French, somewhat nautical simplicity of a stripe gets me every time. So, it’s no surprise my eyes keep wandering towards summery stripe patterns and its cousin, colorblock this season. Here are a few structurally lined things I’d like to add to my overflowing existing collection (with restraint, of course).

1. Sheer Cotton Scarf, Esprit
2. Stripe Mixed Fabric Maxi Dress, Oasis
3. Heather Grey Stripe Cotton Butterfly Sleeve Top, Cielo
4. Marie Top, Fossil
5. Multi Stripe Skirt, Topshop
6. La Pochette Clutch, Clare Vivier
7. University Black Rope Sole Classics, Toms
8. Winston Colour Block Espadrille Wedges, Topshop

It’s hot in Atlanta. Feels-like-August-although-it’s only-June hot (and humid). But, this is always the time of year I want to listen to some good music, drink in hand, playing with the dog, outside. Or it’s the time we load up the car and head to the beach. Either way, you need a good playlist—here’s mine.

The Sound of Sunshine by Michael Franti & Spearhead (My yoga instructor plays this in class and there’s something fantastic and powerful about doing a bird of paradise pose against a reggae beat).

Options by Gomez (Remember summer as a child when all that existed was endless possibility? The world was your oyster with all the options … sigh).

Ohio by The Black Keys (We’ve taken many a roadtrip to my husband’s hometown of Cincinnati).

Lovesong by Adele (Her Cure cover gives me chills).

I Believe by REM (XFM “25” just featured Life’s Rich Pageant as one of twelve influential albums released in 1986, and I officially feel ancient).

Hey Mama by Mat Kearney (Kearney’s new album Young Love comes out in August, but this track is already available on iTunes and it’s really good).

Time Has Told Me by Nick Drake (Nothing says summer quite like Drake’s complex voice).

Roll Away Your Stone by Mumford & Sons (This is my favorite song off Sigh no More).

Traffic by Stereophonics (Nothing worse than a roadtrip loaded with bumper to bumper false starts).

Game Time by Yo La Tengo (YLT does it again with an all-instrumental collection; this tune sounds like a wonderful buildup of anticipation).

Oh my Heart by REM (I realize REM made it on here twice, but they deserve it, yes? These Georgia boys had quite a year and this song off their latest album is gorgeous).

Ride Wit Me by Nelly featuring City Spud (An oldie but a goodie and begs for rolled down windows–thanks to hesseltime.com for a reminder of how good of a song this is).

Keep the Car Running by Arcade Fire (Just drive).

The High Road by Broken Bells (The road less traveled).

Across the Universe by The Beatles (Images of broken light—swoon).

Travelin’ Thru by Dolly Parton (Honky-tonk heartbreak, she’s releasing Better Day next Tuesday, such an impressive career).

Tin Man by The Avett Brothers (You know when you get signed to Rick Rubin’s label things will turn out alright—Garden & Gun’s feature on these guys back in February is a great read).

South Side by Moby featuring Gwen Stefani (One of the best lines in “Vacation,” is when they take the wrong turn in St. Louis and the guy says, (I’m paraphrasing) shoot, you don’t want to listen to me, I’m from the Southside of Chicago. This is just after Clark tells the kids to “roll ‘em up”).

From the Clouds by Jack Johnson (Grab your longboard—Jack Johnson has the Hawaiian life I crave … even if just for one week).

For the First Time by The Script (I’m a sucker for a Dublin accent).

Australia by The Shins (The ultimate spot on the map for 300 plus days a year of postcard-worthy weather).

Set Fire to the Rain by Adele (It doesn’t get much better than this for belting it out).

Ghosts by Florence + The Machine (I always get a bit nostalgic this time of year … longing for the ghosts of college breaks’ past).

Good Life by One Republic (This is my favorite time of year with long days loaded with sunshine … ‘tis a good life).

We aren’t headed to the beach until July, but already I’ve got my warm weather literary list. I’d like to alternate between classic (Gatsby … so excited for this movie remake in 2012!) something that requires a bit more work (Jacob de Zoet), then countered with light (Fey, Handler, and Childress, respectively), a dose of travel envy (The Paris Wife), followed by a page-turner that brings out the feeling of the season (Midnight’s descriptions of a hot, sticky summer in Savannah do the trick), and finally end with a book I should’ve read in college, but skimmed (Papa Hemingway).

My beloved facial cleanser has been touted across every beauty magazine for decades as the best drugstore buy, and now, the truth comes out that it’s loaded with what’s been called the equivalent of “toxic sludge.” Bleh.

A while back I attended an event called “Get the Lead out of Lipstick” at a private estate. The concept and campaign are both wonderful, but the crowd was interesting to say the least; I found it jarring to listen to all the talk about toxins in beauty products without noticing the Botoxed hypocrisy, as a lot of the women in this set sported injections, which last time I checked, are in fact, the opposite of chem-free.

But it did force me to look at what products I use (or used to use) and how much gunk is hidden in our beauty regime. It’s more than overwhelming to think about products you use from dental floss to moisturizer that could contain carcinogens and what all this means to us as a people and a planet. Here are some products I do love and that are (for now) safe. To find out more, go to safecosmetics.org.

No. 4 L’eau de Mer hydrating shampoo
Kevin Murphy anti gravity
Raw Essentials refreshing face wash
Dr. Hauschka moisturizing day cream
Butter lacquer in blowing raspberries
PLA Beauty glam lip gloss

England is having a good go at things, yes? The 2012 summer Olympic games in London, the House of Windsor nuptials on Friday, to name two. This week’s culture, a roundup of proper British imports I adore.

Buckingham Palace Cushion, notonthehighstreet.com
Earl Grey Tea, Twinings of London
“The King’s Speech,” Image: Courtesy of See-Saw Films
Otis, the rescue dog, allegedly mixed with English Labrador
Pint Tumbler, Crate & Barrel
Vintage Flag, Room & Board
Fish & Chips, BBC Good Food
Hayley & Lucas Print, Keep Calm Gallery
Jane Austen’s “Emma,” Penguin Classics Clothbound
Hand Embroidered Linens, Gayle Warwick (PS—if you’re in the Atlanta area tomorrow check out Gayle’s trunk show at Gramercy from 10 a.m.-6 p.m.)
Corsage Hairband, Topshop