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Dear Mom – Day 4

May 7, 2009


It’s day four in our five-part series on motherhood. To see past entries and full details on the amazing panelists click here.

dp Did you find out your child’s gender while you were pregnant? Did you try to predict? Were you correct?

Mommy E Yes – we just found out we are having a boy, and are so excited!  This was one of the discussions that was agreed upon before even getting pregnant. My husband is a planner and wanted to know!  I could go either way, so maybe in the future we could keep it a surprise. Because I have been having such an easy time with pregnancy, I was feeling boy at first, but was also very partial to having a girl. I am so excited for the outcome, but either way I think we would have won the lottery.

dp Has there been a specific age or phase that was particularly difficult? An age that was incredibly joyous and amazing? What’s one thing that you were particularly proud of your child doing?

Mommy A My children are still young, but in my four years of experience, I’ve realized that each phase/stage has its ups and downs.  For every achievement or milestone my children reach, there’s a flip side to it (usually a humorous one). For example, I used to be particularly proud of my older daughter because she was so well spoken. Now she can articulate exactly what she wants, why she wants it and if she doesn’t get it, she expresses her disappointment thoroughly! My youngest has just started crawling. Wonderful! Except now I spend my day following her all around the house making sure she doesn’t choke on one of her sister’s toys. The list goes on.

Mommy C Right now, we are in a challenging time. She really wants to go where she wants to go when she wants to and I really want her to ask permission and respect my response. So far, I spend a lot of time chasing her down and taking her back inside so she can try to ask permission before going outside. I very much want to empower my daughter to make her own decisions, but there are many times that I only have patience for her decisions if they are the same as my own.

Mommy D I am proud of the way that they treat others.

Mommy G The past 6 months have been both of those. She’s a person now. You can have a conversation with her. The other night we laid in the bed under the covers like a slumber party and she told me she thinks Dylan is cute (a boy in her class). It’s funny when she repeats words – she’s been so fun and then she’ll have 2 weeks of sheer hell where I don’t know how to deal with her. You can’t use logic, or reason and sometimes not even love. It is what it is and you have to accept it and wait until it passes. You want to feel like you’re teaching, but there’s times where you just have to let them be.

When she stopped being shy, I was so proud of that. The fact that she can go up to friend of mine and say hey how are you – we’re both really proud of that.

dp Did you become more spiritual or religious after having children?

Mommy A Yes!  I wanted us to all go to church together and I wanted to expose the church to my children at an early age. It was my priority to expose them to religion and I feel strongly that the church is important in child rearing and learning right from wrong. If my children choose to leave the church as adults, then that is their prerogative. My job, as a parent, is to provide them with the foundation they need to have a relationship with God.

Mommy C Having a child and experiencing the world tangentially through her eyes has re-enlivened my awe of the natural world and the delight that I take in it.

Mommy E This is going to be an interesting development for my husband and I- being interfaith. We have discussed combining traditions and incorporating the elements we both value most. But, I think the toughest part will be balancing our decisions with what our family will expect.

Mommy F Having children made me go back to my faith stronger. You have to find your own spirituality, but I don’t want to make anyone else believe the way I do.

dp How does your husband help with child rearing? What things does he do better than you?

Mommy B My husband was a wonderful father and grandfather and so enjoyed the great grandchildren as well. He was a businessman, not too good about house help, only that he loved to cook. Handyman he was NOT. But there was always money to have things done right. He died in 2003 at the age of 85 leaving me with not a worry in this world. I still have good health at 89 and enjoy all of my family.

Mommy G He’s good about being less structured. He’s okay to let her watch TV – he’s okay with her staying up past her bedtime. He’s okay with her indulging a little more. I think that’s important. I’m more about did you eat your veggies, now it’s time for bed. Which is a nice balance. He cooks dinner, makes breakfast, buys all the groceries – he’s really helpful he’s very hands on all the time.

Mommy I He was better playing with the kids. I was so concerned with taking care of the house. He was also better with discipline. They used to laugh at me when I tried to scold. He was strong with them. And then with sports he started coaching them and stuff. We both helped with homework, but when the kids got into more advanced things, he helped them with that. He also had fun while playing with them.

Tomorrow – The series wraps up with motherhood misconceptions, family memories, and modern methods.