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In with a Bang

February 2, 2011

Our holiday card last year said something about 2010 going out with a bang, and it featured the above photo. We felt like we were really giving the shite year (husband’s layoff, mom’s cancer) a proper sendoff. The beauty of it all is that without last year, we wouldn’t fully appreciate the wonderfulness that is now. You have to have scary to have sweet, heartbreak to have joy, life’s simple balancing act. Ah, therapy, you work wonders.

But, I didn’t realize that what we thought was sending 2010 out, is actually bringing 2011 in with a bang. I’m on the brink of change—and with any shift, I automatically go into scared shitless-manic mode, but trying (really, I am) to roll with it all and live each day fully and not worry about the rest—easier said that done. I may have broken a personal record last week for how many days in a row one can pass off yoga pants and a little girl’s-sized kung-fu fighter anime t-shirt as work attire, how many nervous belly trips to the bathroom one can take, and I’m pretty sure even my twin sister is dodging my anxious, talk-until-I’m-out-of-breath phone calls. Last week did not compile my finest days.

Unfortunately, all of this is too premature to write about, but hopefully, soon, I’ll be able to tell you about it all. Until then, I’m dodging bullets.