Anatomy of a Dinner Party

Dan and I strive to be parents who incorporate our child into our life instead of it being Margaret’s world and we’re just living in it. For us that means continuing to have people over to our house. Saturday night, we hosted several friends for the first time in what felt like years. I mean, before Stacy and Sean moved we all dined at each other’s places so often it felt more like family than anything else.

From setting the table to start and a loaded dishwasher to finish, I love how it all unfolded. One thing Dan and I do well is pizza night. I think it’s because there’s a lot you can do in advance and it’s not terribly complicated. You can prep the vegetables and brown meats ahead of time so you can actually visit with guests. I made three batches of pizza dough for crusts and had a slew of toppings (roasted red peppers, sausage, zucchini, salami, mushrooms, plenty of cheese and farmers market sauce).

Our friend Barbara brought the most delicious roasted Brussels sprouts with bacon, and some amazing mushrooms. Fantastic! Augusta and Brett brought a terrific beet and arugula salad from Gwyneth Paltrow’s new cookbook. And for dessert, because I was being both slightly lazy, but very realistic about my lack of time, I just did a simple, homemade salted caramel sauce drizzled over store-bought ice cream, topped with toasted macadamia nuts.

Because our kitchen is small, and we’d have the oven cranked for a while, we decided to put our backyard table on the covered front porch. I pressed my table runner and napkins because I sort of feel like this is a dying art—preparing for a party—arranging flowers and making the night feel special. I used a marble lazy Susan my mom gifted me as a turntable for pre-meal bruschetta, and the next day, as a centerpiece for holding hydrangeas.

We had my favorite (what we call our house red) everyday wine, local beer, and after dinner we made spiked Arnold Palmer cocktails. So, that was our dinner party—simple and good.

We all need this once in a while. A lovely summer night, close friends, fits of laughter, amazing food, feeling alive in the moment and savoring each day surrounded in the things that truly matter. I was also a wonderful reminder to Dan and I that we are still the same post-Margaret, only better.

The Pop Five

This week’s installment of my favorites touches on creative fields. Now, get out there and make something this weekend!

I’ve written about designer Marla Henderson here and here, and she just unveiled her gorgeous, new website. She’s such a talented soul and I always enjoy reading about what she’s up to on her inspiring blog section.

I loved waking up to this piece about Katie Crutchfield on Monday morning. The thought of this woman writing and recording an entire album (that one Pitchfork staffer calls the best thing she’d heard in years) over the course of seven days at her family’s lakehouse during a snowstorm gives me chills.

Image: Courtesy of Will Figg for NPR

Whenever I feel stuck in my own writing (or life, for that matter), I head outdoors with the dog. Huffington Post published this piece on America’s Best Secret National Parks. Seems I have some traveling to do!

Image: © Henryk Sadura/Tetra Images/Corbis

The Atlantic Wire’s flow chart on what kind of reader you are is fantastic! No surprise, I fall into the compulsive category.

I recently stumbled across this adorable site, designeatrepeat.com, and love the combination of subjects—baking and graphic design.

Image: Courtesy of Design Eat Repeat

 

This is Marriage

I recently saw Judd Apatow’s movie, This is 40. Realistically it could be called, This is Depressing because it’s such a downer of a movie. There are some funny moments, yes, but truly, these people seem to hate each others’ guts. It got me thinking about marriage and relationships past the honeymoon stage. Better yet, the my-husband-watched-me-give-birth and I’ve-held-a-plastic-bedpan-for-him-to-pass-a-kidney-stone … that stage.

I started examining my own relationship, which is in the category I just described. I do see how it happens (like in the movie) couples slowly growing apart or knowing each other so well that the tolerance level dwindles. Believe me, there have been moments in my marriage where I’ll look at Dan like I cannot believe what is coming out of his mouth. He gives the same disbelieving look to me. I’ve seen it more often than I care to admit and chose to ignore. It’s that moment, at dinner with another couple, when they argue over whether it was October or November when they last vacationed. The wife sternly says it was definitely after Halloween and the husband is frantically checking his iPhone to prove her wrong. You think the whole table has moved on and suddenly he’s showing people the weekend of October 27 with Hilton Head blocked off on his iCal. Boom. See. I was right. He was, but does it matter? Does it really matter?

We know this though, it’s when you lock eyes with your spouse and exchange a knowing look and think, thank goodness we’re not that couple. Like you two have it all figured out. In relationships, particularly long-term ones, it does matter. There are unwritten running tallies of expectations constantly being met and not met. Is this what marriage is? Is this my marriage? I look at relationships I grew up with to wrap my head around it a bit. My own mother didn’t wear makeup until after my father died. Is it because he liked it that way? Or did she evolve into something else after he was gone? Was there something in her she suppressed when he was alive, or did she just grow after he was gone? That is a simplistic example. But in our need to be right, is it about biting our tongue to let our partner win? Suppressing who we are?

Is that the trade off? The yin and yang of relationships where between the tenderness and expected moments of good comes expected moments of annoyance, arrogance and our own constant struggles with always having to be right? It’s that Dan gives my leg a squeeze when we’re tucked together on the couch when the good part of a movie comes on screen. I didn’t get that squeeze with, This is 40. We both looked in the mirror that night disgusted with what we didn’t want to become.

Image: Dan and I mirroring each other without even realizing it while on vacation. I should add (for vanity’s sake) I was five months pregnant in this photo and not just vacation-eating while sporting elastic waistband shorts.

The Pop Five

I stumbled across a lot of kid-centric articles this week, so that’s the focus of today’s roundup. Here are my favorite recent finds that touch on raising the littles.

How adorable is this honeycomb garland?

Image: By Kim A. Thomas for Oh Happy Day

This thought-provoking article about the one and done concept in this economy is so interesting.

While going through vacation photos, I came across what could be the best photograph of Miss Mags yet. This one image sums up her personality better than any wordy description ever could. However, if I were to pick a single word to sum her up, it’d be undoubtedly be spitfire.

I’ve been testing kiddo-friendly recipes lately since table foods are right around the corner for Margaret and I refuse to be a fish-sticks-every-night kind of mom. I made these chicken and veggie pockets on Monday (recipe on page 22). It’s sort of like a cross between an empanada and portable potpie; they are so good and grown-up friendly and would even be great as a heavy appetizer for a party.

Image: Courtesy of Thayer Allyson Gowdy

I’ve enjoyed reading Joanna Goddard’s Motherhood Monday series for a while now and this week she started something called Motherhood Around the World. The first piece on Norway is so fascinating.

Spiked Arnold Palmer Granita

Back in 2009, I toured the Firefly distillery on Wadmalaw Island, South Carolina with co-founder Jim Irvin, just a year after he launched the company’s sweet tea vodka line. I haven’t had a Firefly cocktail in ages, but when I do, it’s always in warm weather months when the backyard is buzzing with mosquitoes and the tomatoes are just about to turn from green to blush. It’s my favorite time of the year … the sticky and salty dog days.

Garden & Gun recently profiled Andrea Litvin from The Spence, in Atlanta, and featured her sweet tea granita recipe. After reading the piece, I remembered my Firefly friends from Wadmalaw and, well, this past weekend, I made a batch of spiked Arnold Palmers to quench my thirst (and the heat) using the granita method from Litvin. While it’s lovely on its own, it gets remarkably better with the additions of a swaying porch swing, a hot night, and someone to share it with.

Spiked Arnold Palmer Granita
Makes about six cups
Adapted from Andrea Litvin’s recipe in June/July 2013 Garden & Gun

Ingredients
²⁄³ cup sugar
2 ½ cups water
2 black tea bags, preferably English breakfast or other good-quality tea (This is what Litvin suggests, I used one pitcher-sized bag of Luzianne.)
Zest of 2 lemons
Juice of 2 lemons
1 jigger (1 ounce) Firefly sweet tea vodka

Preparation
Bring sugar, water, and lemon zest to a boil. Add tea bags and steep for five minutes. Add lemon juice. Strain and cool to room temperature. Pour liquid into an 8-by-8-inch baking dish (any shallow, freezer-proof dish will do); cover with plastic wrap and freeze. After an hour, run a fork through the mixture to break up any large pieces of ice; return to the freezer. Repeat every 15 to 20 minutes until the consistency is fluffy and no large ice crystals remain, about two or three more times. Scoop into glasses. Top with 1 jigger sweet tea vodka and serve.

Granita may be made ahead and stored in a plastic-covered container in the freezer for up to three days. Fluff with a fork before serving.

The Pop Five

Who knew so many danapop readers share a fear of public speaking? Several of you emailed me about Tuesday’s article, which was very sweet and encouraging. I cannot thank you enough for that; we’re all in this together, it seems.

Last week we were in Siesta Key celebrating Independence Day and experiencing our own caravan holiday. While I love traveling (I’m not complaining about eight days at the beach!), it is always very nice to come home. With that in mind, this week’s Pop Five installment shares the local love.

According to the August issue of Food & Wine, there’s currently a bit of a shrub revival, and one of the best bottled mixers comes from Shrub & Co. (produced in Decatur, Ga.). Yum!

Image: Courtesy of Doug Sturgess

On Tuesday, the Huffington Post published a gorgeously written piece by Atlanta native and author of,  A Place at the Table, Susan Rebecca White.

My friend and former ATL-city-dweller, Lisa Baxter Janovec, recently launched, You’re Not on the Guest List, a blog about her new life in Dallas. It’s a very fun read to add to your favorites repertoire.

The fine folks at Uber just launched uberX, similar to their original black car service (but with fuel-efficient models of vehicles) and are giving danapop readers a special promo code to use through December 2013 for a $20 discount. How generous is that? The code is DanaSuberX.

I’m not certain why it took me so long to discover, but my friend Cathy Anderson of, Poor Little It Girl, is one part of the founding team behind the Southern Blog Society. I’ve recently become a member, and if you reside in any of the Southern states, you should too. Brilliant idea!

Image: Southern Blog Society founders Cathy Anderson and Jessica Camerata

Toast Master

I don’t fear a lot of things, but two things I do are the most common: public speaking and riding in an elevator. I’m not quite certain where the elevator one stems, it’s absolutely the fear of getting trapped more than a space-issue, but from what I can remember, I’ve had it my entire life.

As for public speaking, there’s nothing I dread more than talking in front of a crowd. One-on-one I can hold my own. Group settings like parties, (even when I only know one person in the room) I’m perfectly fine. But, the second I have to stand up and address a crowd, even if it’s just a simple name, what you do for a living situation, I clam up. My throat gets dry, my belly does flip-flops, my palms sweat and my breathing changes to a much more rapid pace.

I’ve never had a bad public speaking experience per se, but I just always dread it. My brother got married when I was a freshman in college and he asked me to give a reading – anything I wanted (I took the road most traveled by way of Corinthians) – to which I tried to make myself pass out beforehand by locking my knees. I was so nervous just waiting for my long walk up to the podium for my part in the ceremony.

Years later, at my father’s funeral service, all four of us children gave eulogies, the whole time before my turn I wasn’t thinking of the finality of this moment, but how nervous I was about reading what I summed up of my father’s life that fit typed out a single sheet of paper. The corresponding photo is me giving a reading at one of my best friend’s wedding a couple of years ago; I rehearsed my short verse over and over on the six-hour plane ride to Europe.

I tell you all of this because last month, I took a long, hard look at my business, danapop, LLC, and the model I’ve used since launching in 2008, deciding that it’s stale. I’ve reworked my model, adding pillars to my writing business and brand I never knew existed, included a new element I’m particularly excited about; danapop Presents, an in-person events series.

For danapop Presents, I will be using a lot of what I’m great at … planning, using my network of smart women, curating a fantastic event, but also it will put me in the role of moderator, which I’m already nervous about. But, that’s the point, I suppose, especially when owning your own business – to push yourself and grow beyond your wildest expectations. Or better yet, beyond your own limitations.

I remember when I ran that half marathon back in 2009, I was terrified of it (not for fear of incompletion, but more for all that head space and isolation in training) and that process really made me wonder how many other things in my life do I hold back on because I’m scared to do it? Walking the stairs in lieu of an elevator ride is one thing, but not using your voice because you’re worried about what might come out is an all-together different issue. I personally don’t want to live my life in fear of things, or even worse, in fear of myself.

On top of that, it’s my job to be the example for my daughter and myself. This year, I’m getting over that barricade that’s been there most of my life. While I’m still flushing ideas out and solidifying the setup, spring 2014 will play host to the first danapop Presents. Here’s to getting out of comfort zones and being fearless!

The Pop Five

Dan and I find ourselves doing what I call a life check-in twice a year, both times coinciding with chunks of time away from the office. Once, around the holidays we sort of assess where we are heading into the New Year, and also each July when we take our annual vacation to my in-law’s condo on Siesta Key.

This past week we’ve enjoyed a much-needed respite from our everyday and despite an unseasonal dose of heavy rain throughout our stay, here are the highlights.

I’m a sucker for capturing sea oats in the foreground of a photo.

One can’t eat at the institution known as Phillippi Creek without a photo in front of the famed turtle.

The landscaping all along the island is so beautiful and this bird-of-paradise lives just outside our backdoor.

Rain clouds breaking just in time for a sunset.

I love the pink and white colors on this fella.

Summer Soundtrack

Is it really October since my last playlist? Oh, dear. Well, rest assured we’ve been listening to some good tunes around the Seith house, I’ve apparently just not been writing about them. For all the road trips and backyard dinners this season has to offer, here’s the summer soundtrack.

Diane Young by Vampire Weekend (I love the Saab reference in this song. That car, for a very long time was my dream car; plus, this song makes me want to wear an Izod, Wayfarers and pastel shorts … the perfect summer outfit.)

Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes by Paul Simon (Summer is all about exploring and getting outside the everyday routine.)

Lover of the Light by Mumford & Sons (Sunny days ahead.)

Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? by She & Him (Aren’t road trips about crashing anywhere? I was never very good with that notion.)

Mountain Sound by Of Monsters and Men (I love the chorus of Hold your horses now, considering patience isn’t exactly my strongest virtue. Are we there yet?)

French Navy by Camera Obscura (I’m obsessed with this song and sad I’ll miss them when they are in Atlanta on July 13.)

Without You by Eddie Vedder (Nothing quite makes me think of my childhood in Hawaii than a ukulele and Vedder’s voice paired with simple chords is fantastic.)

Sun by Cat Power (Her voice is like an angel over this great beat and this entire album makes me feel like she’s branching out beyond her usual folk sound.)

Black Skinhead by Kanye West (While I’m so over Kimye, I’m into this song. However, one tip for Mr. West: If you’re that talented, you don’t need to tell everyone about it all the time.)

Gimme Shelter by The Rolling Stones (Dan’s favorite Stones tune ever and great for a sing-a-long.)

Defriended by Beck (He’s come a long way since Two turntables and a microphone; I love this song.)

Blood Bank by Bon Iver (Doesn’t every summer have some sort of injury? Ours usually involve the dog and his intestinal troubles versus a mulberry tree.)

In the Sun by Donna De Lory (I’m a sucker for hot, summer days.)

Sweater Weather by the Neighbourhood (I’m anti-sweater weather … see above.)

Little French Song by Carla Bruni (Ooh la-la.)

These Days by R.E.M. (I’ve always loved R.E.M.’s older stuff and lately I’m convinced Lifes Rich Pageant is their best work. Every song is so good.)

Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell (How amazing was this song on the season finale of Mad Men?)

Stubborn Love by the Lumineers (Fact: It’s better to feel pain than nothing at all.)

Graffiti on the Train by Stereophonics (Take in the scenery.)

Jesus’ Chariot by Neil Young & Crazy Horse (This is Margaret’s favorite song at the moment. She especially loves the addition of the chicken and dumplings verse. Yum, yum! Though, we usually skip the killing of the red rooster part. #Don’tKnowHowToExplainThat)

I Won’t Back Down by Tom Petty (I heard he killed it at Bonnaroo, playing this song shortly after coming on stage.)

Where We Gonna Go From Here by Mat Kearney (Life’s an open road.)

Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend (I’m going full circle with this playlist by starting and finishing with same band. I’m certain the lyric, Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma? is a rhetorical question, but I do. I give a fuck about an Oxford comma, and you should too.)

The Pop Five

Wasn’t the Supermoon last weekend magical? Funny, looking up at the sky in Atlanta is quite different than the skies of my youth; the vastness in both Hawaii and Kansas, versus the urban glow I see today.

We, like most Americans, are ready to celebrate the birth of our country next week. Because I grew up in a military family, it goes beyond lighting sparklers and sipping a Shandy (though I’m certain we’ll do both come Thursday). Mostly on July 4, I think about our troops and the cost of freedom. The price of it these days seems so incredibly high.

Phew, sorry about that heaviness. Here are my lighter finds from the week.

Summer is here! Doesn’t this bourbon cherry cooler sound fabulous? Must. Make. This.

Image: Courtesy of HonestlyYUM

Dan brought me home some products from his hotel in L.A. (I love it when he does that!). I’m obsessed with the peppermint shampoo and the cilantro hair conditioner from Malin + Goetz. Plus, I’m a sucker for simply designed packaging. Love.

With Dan and I both from the Midwest, it’s a bit strange to wrap my head around the fact that we have a bona fide Southern daughter since all she knows is Atlanta. My sister-in-law and her family visited last weekend and she gifted Margaret the sweetest top that reads:

Lil’ Southern Girls Wear Boots & Pearls

And it’s very true. They do. Find the whole Southern Girls collection at the Urban Farmhouse Market.

Remember last year when a cobra was missing from the Bronx Zoo? Well, this week, it was the above-pictured red panda at the National Zoo and it reminded me how clever the Twitter account of BronxZoosCobra is. Still makes me laugh.

I’m a little late on this, but I finally got caught up on my CBS Sunday Morning watching and this piece is fantastic. Plus, Jim (Hot Pockets) Gaffigan is one of my favorite comedians.